The Dammit Phenomenon
By Noel Figart, originally posted here.

NRE is a term that was invented, I believe, by someone in the San Francisco Bay area polyamory community to describe that "newly in love" feeling in a way that did not imply "one true love". NRE stands for New Relationship Energy. You know the feeling -- you're light as a feather, walking on air... You know, just completely twitterpated.

It's a fun feeling, isn't it? Heaven knows I like it -- being in the throes of it and all as I write this.

However, among responsible polys, you'll often hear things like, "I'm in love...." <big sigh> "*Dammit!* " Or "Yeah, I'm twitterpated, dammit!" or "Yeah, it's NRE, dammit!" A good friend of mine and I have sent each other into hysterical laughter with this exact expression.

Why the "dammit!"? I mean, c'mon, being poly means you're free to fall in love, experience all that the world has to offer, share your soul with the most wonderful people, right?

Well, yeah, it does, you can, and it's often great. I mean, really wonderful. But, there's a problem involved in that. You see, if you're poly and in the throes of twitterpation, there's a fair chance you've already got an old relationship that needs maintenance. That means, nope, nope, nope, you really cannot focus all that much on the new relationship because you've got a commitment to the old one.

For me, it feels rather like I have two brains. There's the core me, the brain that loves her family, wants to be a good parent, wants to maintain all her relationships, fulfill her commitments, and all that. That's at my soul and heart level of my desires.

Then there's my "ferret brain